A little while ago I wrote in a newsletter about what I “earned” as a professional artist for over a decade, or more specifically what I have not earned. It was brought to my attention that the words might require some further explanation for others to understand more fully, and that is what I am trying to achieve here. Here are the words that I originally wrote:
“I have yet to “earn” a dollar, or any other apparent accolades, from my art and despite this my family has been supported by the marks I make for over a decade now. My lack of earning has been monumentally surmounted by others’ giving generosity and that has fed and sheltered us for all these years. There is no amount of self-sacrifice, ingenuity, or hard work that can balance this equation; the amount we have been given has continually out-measured even the potential of what I am able to offer.
I am truly honored to have this opportunity to create and be an active part of Creation and to have even the most minuscule awareness of how dependent this opportunity is on my fellow co-creators. Thank You for reminding me of a life and art we can create together.”
It is interesting the word “earn” is rooted in the word “labor” and more deeply rooted in the word for “harvest”. I would say that there is actually some accuracy in using a word with this meaning to describe the process of both making and then distributing the art that I create. I am more conflicted defining this process by the way we collectively interpret “earning” in our current culture. I think is is partially correlated to the post-industrial and technological world we live in that has traveled so far from or agricultural and hunter-gather ancestral roots. I don’t think it is too hard to believe that my, not-so-long ago, ancestors had a deep and integral understanding that the “labor” and “harvest” that result in “earnings” require a near infinite world of connectivity from the soil, to the sun, to the water, to community and village, and weaving throughout all of Creation. This is a necessary understanding for even the most basic traditional farming, gathering, and hunting practices. One must understand the humble and minute roll they play in the process to have any amount of “earning” at all. Both the labor and the harvest in this act have more spiritual value than the actual outcomes they provide and require a large amount of responsibility to simply feed yourself and help feed others.
I believe this understanding has become deeply and disturbingly confused in the cultural world in which we live. I believe “earning” is often now perceived as a measure of gains that allow outright selfish behaviors that inevitably create separations in the world we inhabit and the people and creatures we inhabit it with. “Success” has become a cult and we have largely become obsessed with the outcomes of our “earnings” and have grown to almost entirely ignore the value in humbly being tied to the Land, although this fact has never changed. We have almost entirely lost sight of the “labor” and the “harvest” and think that “earning” is simply the fruits that we naively think that we personally have gained. We often now think that what we have “earned” is somehow a sign of our personal merit and superiority, It is now necessary for us, in pursuing anything of spiritual value, to rid ourselves of the hopes and demands associated with our cultural understanding of “success” and “earnings”.
This is my goal in the things that I make with my hands. If I am creating work with a cultural carrot of “success” and the common accolades we associate with this idea dangling in front of me, I never will be capable of truly seeing the work that lies behind the carrot. It is wrong of me to assume my work will gain me financial wealth or any notoriety of any sort, it would be absolutely unjust to the work and its value in sharing it to assume such a thing. Ironically, these very “accomplishments” are often what erode the integrity and worthiness of the things we create. And so while we gain the perception of “success” and the short-lived serotonin high that comes along with the feeling of importance, we loose the very thing that brings our life and our work value.
What is truly creating value is the act of being Loved and giving Love. We could say that giving of our Love is our true labor and the receiving of our Love is the true harvest. But, the Love isn’t Love until we give It away. We have trouble trusting this notion and are often told very few cultural narratives of placing one’s faith in this act of giving. We have been infected with an atrocious notion (and all participated in its distribution) that Love is a thing of condition which can be earned and withheld dependent on our actions and in-actions. We have built the vast majority of our society, our culture, our institutions, and our relationships around this delusional notion. The horrible irony of this is that here in America we are told so often that our society, its principles, and our institutions are based on the teachings of a man that spoke clearly and definitive ly about the unconditional nature of Love, our need to collectively share in It, and the humility that Love requires. If we want to step away from this hypocrisy it demands that we begin to have a deeper understanding of Love and how we are “earning” that Love.
I was correct when I said that I never “earned” a dollar from art; that is not what I am laboring for or what I am attempting to harvest. Perhaps those dollars are like the leaves of the grape vine, meant to be turned over annually to enrich the soil, but they are not the fruit. The leaves are valuable and worthy (and I am grateful for them) but they are not worth earning. I will not climb a tree and shake a vine like a giddy toddler for muscadine leaves, but you can be sure I will shamelessly climb any tree to reach some muscadine grapes and I will positively share them and their wine with anyone I meet.
What I seek to earn is the ability to share from my Heart a gift I have been given but only can receive by giving it away. My words and images will never fully suffice in expressing the Gratitude I have for this opportunity. When I attempt to hold it I feel it swell in my chest and press through my throat and fill my eyes with tears; I can only witness Creation through actively participating in Creation and I can only actively participate in Creation by acknowledging the infinite web that is Creation. I am so thankful there are people like you to let me share and reflect these things and to help feed, shelter, and sustain my family, Thank you for the leaves and lets bury them and eat some grapes!